Let Us Talk About W.H. Auden's Poem - The More Loving One

W. H. Auden

Years ago, I read W.H. Auden's memorable poem - The More Loving One. It so much stuck to my memory that, it immediately became one of my favourites from the West. And for so many years after I was chanced to read this wonderful piece, it began to shape my general philosophy of love. It is a sad poem, and the poet must have written it to console himself of the pain of a love which he showed someone but was never given back.

Now, when I reread this poem, I think deeply of my two favourite lines:

   

                                         If equal affection cannot be,
                                         Let the more loving one be me.

Of course, there cannot be equal affection when two or more persons are in a relationship. No matter how perfect it may seem to viewers outside, there must be the one who loves more; who tends to show more affection. It is natural for mothers to love their children more than their children do to them. Fathers love their children more than their children love them due to obligations. Boys show affection more before courtship, and then during courtship (often times), the girls tend to carry this load on their head.

There is always sadness to loving more, because sometimes you desire affection of equal measure, which you may never get. Yet you cannot relax your love, because, it has become part of you, and you fear if you do let it wane, your partner would experience the bitter pain which you feel. Yet, it is safer to love more, because it brings joy to guard against other people's pain, even while you suffer depression.

In this poem of his, Auden has symbolized his friends as stars, and he begins with a sad note in the first two lines, when he writes: 'Looking up at the stars, I know quite well/ That, for all they care, I can go to hell'. Yet in the next two lines, the poet has revealed that he cares less about human's indifference towards those they should love. In the second stanza, Auden asks a question about unequal affection - if it were good to be on the gaining or losing side. Disregarding the consequences of loving more, Auden chooses to be on the negative side, when he writes that: 'If equal affection cannot be? Let the more loving one be more.'

The third stanza speaks again of the sadness of not noticing someone who spends much time to give you attention and love, yet you fail to give a damn. Auden makes us understand here that, if you push those who spend time to love you away, there will be a time when their passion for you will completely die off. Thus, in the last stanza, the poet draws the curtain by saying that if all stars (friends) should disappear, he should learn how to look at an empty sky, although it may take sometime. 

Read the poem below

THE MORE LOVING ONE

Looking up at the stars, I know quite well

That, for all they care, I can go to hell,

But on earth indifference is the least

We have to dread from man or beast.

How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us, we could not return?

If equal affection cannot be,

Let the more loving one be me.

Admirer as I think I am

Of stars that do not give a damn,

I cannot, now I see them, say

I missed one terribly all day.

Were all stars to disappear or die,

I should learn to look at an empty sky

And feel its total dark sublime,

Though this might take me a little time.

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Apostle Suleman: What Wrong Has He Done Others Have Not Surpassed?

Lately, there has been grave annoyance bottled inside me, not only for the oppressors, but also for the oppressed who, like Niyi Osundare’s Poem – Not My Business – have continued to showcase an ugly silence because the oppressors have not come to their doorsteps (in particular) to take the yam from their mouth.

Apostle Johnson Suleman

Apostle Suleman, in his 2017 prophesy said and I quote, ‘In 2017, Christians will be oppressed.’ Perhaps, he knew beforehand that the oppression would begin from his threshold. There has been hideous oppression of Christians lately, and it has been glaring for the eyes to see and ears to hear, yet no one says anything because we are scared of the DSS; we are scared losing our breaths, even while we know we are rotting away like cadavers torn open by the vultures. Instead of mourn for a country that has died, we still upload photos and videos of us smiling because we have not been touched yet: only your neighbour was slaughtered by Fulani Herdsmen; God won’t let it get to you! We do not upload scaring pictures of mass burials (people slaughtered in cold blood in their sleep) and weep in our statuses that in spite of this goring homicide, no one has been apprehended, as if our security has become inactive all together.

Our pastors still preach prosperity on alters on Sundays and dance to much applause while many Christians in Southern Kaduna are being slaughtered for no cause. No word would be said to show condolence or to condemn the perpetrators for fear of been interrogated by the DSS. 

As scarce as it may seem, there stood a courageous man – Apostle Suleiman – who despite his office as a clergyman, veiled his eyes to speak for the oppress when there was nobody to speak. In a sermon to his flocks (seeing that the APC-led Federal Government has kept mute in the face of this heinous crisis) he told them to defend themselves against any attack by Fulani herdsmen. It was this very sincere pronunciation of self-defence that the Presidency (or rather, the DSS) saw as a statement capable of instigating the nation into war.

Is Apostle Suleiman’s statement more heinous than the cold blood killings in Agatu and Southern Kaduna, which until now have been denied the revenge they deserve by the federal government they paid allegiance to? Is Apostle Suleiman’s statement more inciting than the recent destruction of churches by the Jigawa Sate Government? Is his statement of Self-defence more annoying than the decision Governor El Rufai took when Fulani Herdsmen began to invade Southern Kaduna? The ‘sage’ of a Governor thought it wise to take Nigeria’s hard-earned money to neighbouring countries not as strong as Nigeria in terms of army, to beg the Fulanis there not to attack the citizens of his state again. DSS was without ears when he said this.

Let us be plain with ourselves: the Country has been divided along political, ethnic and religious lines. These lines have been made deeper in recent times and it is not helping matters. Those holding power oppress those without. And those without harbour dire hatred and plan a payback. Oppression has become so rife; gradually, we ebb towards military regime of our recent past.

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Those Who Say Nigeria is One Are the Country's Greatest Enemies

The Nigerian structure has failed no doubt, since 1960, or perhaps even beyond, stretching as far as the year of her Amalgamation - 1914. The systems are moribund, with mechanisms which will not only ruin our existence (as it did our forebears) but also rain havoc on generations yet on born. In fact, ours is already a failed generation: with the generation of lazy youths with lying tongues and bodies yearning for swindling and sundry corrupt practices. Nowadays, our youths criticize and curse on social media only, while they relax at home to bear the fact that our light flickers like dico light; bear the fact that there are no job vacancies, and when they apply for menial jobs, the company they work for (that thinks it is doing them a favour by employing them) either oppresses them by forcing them to do task not within the tenets of their jobs, or cuts their salary for flimsy reasons, yet the crazy youths feel obliged to keep a foolish calm because they fear of loosing their jobs.

To be fair, Nigeria won't move forward an inch in a million years to come. Rather, it would retrogress, as it has done consistently for the last century. The fact being that, there are too many nations inside this broken country, that demand their own separate existences in order for peace to reign, which in turn would pave the way for meaningful development in such localities. Presently, these many nations which constitute this incongruous country harbour great hatred against themselves, that they distrust each other, and for many years to come, this hatred may not be wiped out, and thus cannot plan.

The question now is, why do we continuously pretend that we are united than disunited, while future lives already smell of jeopardy? Let us shield our eyes to say the truth: Nigeria's existence should be peacefully reconsidered to save future lives from crumbling, as those of our generation had. The power in the centre is too enormous for a multinational state like Nigeria. Individual nations/tribes/regions/state inside Nigeria should be allowed to cater for themselves, have their own structures, control their own laws that govern themselves independent of each other, employ their own people, etc. Thereafter, a weak Central Government (which shall be the head of a con-federal system of government) could be supported by individual nations for the upkeep of a common military base.

Nigeria is not growing. Rather, it is fast falling like one of the heavenly bodies from space. The wave of its speedy fall is the one yet causing us discomfort. We should do all we can within rational context to keep it from crashing completely, because when it falls, there won't be a second life at shattering. Whoever, in this modern Nigeria, scolds you when you speak about restructuring, and even labels you as 'tribalistic' for baring your mind, is being hypocritical. He is one of those feeding on the maggots which come out from the rotting Nigeria, leaving the masses to bear the smell while listening to the cry of their stomachs.


Nigeria's current system has failed woefully. It is high time, we searched thoroughly for another way out of this dangerous woods, to save posterity, from experiencing what we and our forebears experienced.

Thank you.

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Affections Lost: Poem by Ohikhuare Isuku

Come my beloved, come!
Don't move farther off, 
Your closeness strengthens my limbs.
Come to me, to my arms,
To crush the grey of my chest
With your tender bosom
Like the juicest pawpaw in the garden.
February has brought its  arid wind, 
And has placed fruits on every cashew tree.
Or, is this not February - 
The month of our love?
Oh, I doubt!
For at this time in the dim past,
We held on to each other, warming 
Ourselves in the sprawling meadows,
Smiling, our cheeks soft,
Our lips chatting in love language.

Or did our love fall?
Tell me! Do not let my ears shrink.
Save heavens, all things fall, 
Love inclusive, and what palls love.
So tell me, my tears, I'll hold,
Tell me why your face
Has become so costly,
Not even a million pearls can buy,
Tell me, why for many moonnights,
My aging hands longed
For your sheen, your soft skin,
But were left desolate.

Is it age that dispels you?
Speak at once!
Nobody's eavesdropping.
The earth is still
And the world's shut behind us.
Every being ages but God,
And for love,
A score soon becomes a decade. 

Remember those bright years,
Those days when we spoke
Not with our voices,
But ours hearts, our emotions.
Remember those years,
When the rains 
Left the fields green
For us to roll on,
Remember when our chuckles
Startled the little birds,
Whistling on swaying leaves,
On the straws of dancing grasses,
When the fading sun
Held its last smile to the world
While night ravaged from the east.

And remember my love,
When the night spread
Its black hue abroad,
Over our loft, over our love,
We became a whole,
Our warmth dissolving darkness,
Our closeness chasing away fear
Until the full moon 
Shone, brilliantly and alluringly
Over the terrace of our love -
Where we bathed in dry sands,
Churned ourselves upon the cool earth,
Our smiles, our light.

But those nights when the sky
Housed no moon, the world
Swallowed in its shadow,
We pressed against ourselves,
On my bedstead,
On our love's den,
Our warm embrace melting 
The night until the dawn crooners
Brought us hope of a forming dawn.

So move not away from me.
Drift not away from me
More than a foot length,
So I reach out to cuddle you,
Your lips glued to mine,
Our hearts speaking with waves
While our eyes interprete.
Do not mind age,
It's a ruse
Nature imposes to falter love.
But you by my side,
Though nature rules at last,
We shall struggle with it
Until our backs lay against
Our vaults, our eternal beds.

So come to me beloved, 
Come seek home in my arms,
My bedstead still bears
The sweet smell of your soothing tan.

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Rare Beauty: Poem by Ohikhuare Isuku

What kind of poetry
Can unmask the
Mystery behind 
Your rare beauty?

What design of words,
No matter how soothing,
Can paint how oval
Like almond fruit,
Your eyes are?
How stiff like frozen fish,
I feel when those charming eyes
Dazzle at me
As the butterfly flaps its wings?

The truth is,
No art work can fully
Depict the warmth and tenderness
Which embrace your hands
And how tempting
Your bare lips stare at me to kiss.

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Do not stand at my grave and weep: Poem by Mary Elizabeth Frye

Do not stand at my grave and weep 
I am not there. I do not sleep. 
I am a thousand winds that blow. 
I am the diamond glints on snow. 
I am the sunlight on ripened grain. 
I am the gentle autumn rain. 
When you awaken in the morning's hush 
I am the swift uplifting rush 
Of quiet birds in circled flight. 
I am the soft stars that shine at night. 
Do not stand at my grave and cry; 

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Brother Don't You See?: Poem by Ohikhuare Isuku

Brother don't you see?
Don't you see ours is
The relationship of the
Broods around a hen;
When maturity whispers to the broods
And the hen chases them away,
A dank undulation 
Troubles their togetherness.

Hear me now Brother,
We're but broods around a hen;
Although we sucked at the same breasts
And our umbilical cords
Share the same grave
Beneath the coconut tree,
Someday, we shall go
Our separate ways
When the sun - this very sun
That holds us together fades.

Brother! Brother now I ask,
Why does your whip still
Spite my innocent flesh?
Why? Brother why?
Can't you see the sun
Diminishing into a dull crescent?
Let me feel the warmth of your arms
Over my wane shoulders;
Now is the time;
Brother, now is the time.   

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